Friday, December 19, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: EMPEROR LEFTY


Misfit Toy Stats
Name - Emperor Lefty
Type - Factory Mistake
Age - 31 years
Origin - Manufactured
Height - 3 3/4"
Demeanor - Awkward

Misfit toy number six comes from the land of Kenner Star Wars action figures and was the first member of my misfit toy group. Emperor Lefty came into my possession back in 1984 when I was in junior high. A kid told me he had a Star Wars Emperor figure with two left legs. He felt ripped-off when he received the defective action figure through the mail. He didn't want it and knew that I was a Star Wars collector and offered to sell it to me. We agreed on the big price of a shiny quarter.  


Emperor Lefty had it kind of difficult in my Star Wars action figure collection. I think the normal figures made fun of him. They never let poor Lefty join in any Star Wars games. He was lonely until the other misfit toys started to show up. He didn't have to feel so different anymore. He regained his confidence as a toy.


Even though he has two left feet and can't dance, he does get around fairly well. Sometimes he's not sure if he's coming or going, but his cane accessory is a big help. He does get into trouble once in awhile when he gets all high and mighty and attempts to rule the galaxy. That's just the emperor in him. Overall, Emperor Lefty is one A-OK toy.

Check back tomorrow for misfit toy #7.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: JUDY BUTTONFACE


Misfit Toy Stats
Name - Judy Buttonface
Type of Misfit - Homemade
Age - Unknown
Origin - Handmade
Height - 4 3/4"
Demeanor - Studious 

Judy Buttonface, our fifth misfit toy, joined our misfit toy group when I discovered her on display at an antique mall. The booth seller had her sitting on top of a showcase along with a bunch of other old toys. Judy stood out from the other toys. Actually she kind of creeped me out. Her painted eyes on her faux mother of pearl button face seemed to follow me as I scanned the booth. I really had no interest in buying her but I picked her up and thought she might be odd enough to stick her in my own antique booth for resale. I always had good luck selling buttons, so I thought she might catch the eye of a button collector. Instead she seemed to fit right in with the other misfit toys, so I kept her.  


Judy might be a bit introverted but she is very well read. Check out the old books she's carrying.  I think Judy's favorite book just might be Rapunzel. Just look at her long locks of blonde hair.  


By the way and to add to her creepiness, Judy's hair is real human hair. I did the flame test and everything. Who's hair is on Judy's button scalp? What's Judy's past history? How old is she? When was she made? These are questions I'll never know.  


I do know Judy has a bad habit of spacing out and just stares a lot. Some of the other misfits try to break through but she's not sharing her secrets just yet.

Check back tomorrow for misfit toy #6!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: ROOTIN TOOTIN LIL DUCKY


Misfit Toy Stats
Name - Rootin Tootin Lil Ducky
Type of Misfit - Inappropriate
Age - 60 years
Origin - Manufactured
Height - 3"
Demeanor - Trigger happy

Yippee-ki-yay plastic ducky! Our fourth misfit toy suffers from Inappropriate Time Displacement or better known as I.T.D. If something is branded I.T.D, it means that it was acceptable in a past era but not in the current era. (I totally just made that up!) Rootin Tootin Lil Ducky comes from the 1950s during the TV cowboy craze. So many toy companies were trying to cash in and added six-shooters where six-shooters didn't belong. I don't think a pistol packing Easter duck would fly as a toy for kids in today's market.


 I found Ducky in the bottom of a box of old junk that I purchased at an auction many years ago. I can't remember what was in the box that caught my eye to make me bid. It certainly wasn't Ducky as I didn't know he was in there. He was a nice surprise even though he was missing one six-shooter and his red base was chipped. He's from a famous line of holiday candy containers made by Rosbro. Originally he would have been glued onto a little plastic cart pulled by a lamb or chicken. For whatever reason he jumped the cart and never looked back.


Before he came to join our band of misfit toys, Rootin Tootin Lil Ducky was kind of a rogue. A journeyman. His only friends were his beret and six-shooter. Don't let that cute face fool you, 'cause apparently he has a past. A past filled with meanness and regret. Now he's moved on and found a home. Don't ask, because he doesn't talk about his rough-and-ready past.


Hopefully he's found peace with the other misfits. Oh and don't worry about his six-shooter, it's not loaded.

Check back tomorrow for misfit toy #5. 


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: FARLEY THE WHALE


Misfit Toy Stats
Name - Farley the Whale
Type of Misfit - Homemade
Age - 50+ years 
Origin - Handmade
Height - 7"
Demeanor - Nervous

Here's Farley the Whale, our third misfit toy of the 12 days of Christmas. I found Farley many years ago for sale in an antique mall. He was stuck in a showcase with that nervous expression frozen on his face just hoping someone would take him home. Sorry, Charlie! I didn't want to buy him at the time. I always keep my misfit toy budget very low and Farley must have been too expensive. I usually visited that antique mall a couple of times a year and I'd always spot Farley still stuck in that showcase. Year after year, I'd say hello to Farley, but keep on walking. I guess no one wanted poor Farley. Finally one day Farley's price tag was slashed. I can't remember how much he was, but apparently it was a deep enough discount to add Farley to the misfit toy group.


I think Farley the Whale was intended by the crafter to be a tuna instead. He's really a poor man's Charlie the Tuna, complete with glasses and a little hat. Farley is a sharper dresser than Charlie as you can see by his sporty yellow polka-dotted tie. He is hand carved and hand painted. Really, Farley probably isn't the best toy for children because of his thick coat of lead-based paint. I don't see teeth marks, so thankfully he wasn't a baby's chew toy.  


Also, Farley can't stand up on his own. He simply just flops over on his back. Poor, poor Farley.


Farley is kind of shy too. So I guess that's it for this misfit toy. Check back tomorrow for misfit number four.

Monday, December 15, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: DRAGON FORCE DONNY


Misfit Toy Stats
Name - Dragon Force Donny
Type of Misfit - Frankensteined
Age - Head 38 years old Body 29 years old
Origin - Manufactured 
Height - 6 3/4"
Demeanor - Punchy

Meet Dragon Force Donny our second misfit toy. Donny is a frankensteined toy. His head once belonged on a Mattel Donny Osmond doll from 1976. His body is a Lanard Toys Dragon Force Karate action figure from 1985. HAIAH!! I wonder what made some kid play mad scientist and transplant Donny Osmond's head on the Dragon Force body. Is there a Donny Osmond body out there with a Dragon Force Karate head on it?   

(photo from Ebay)

Donny is the most recent edition to our group of merry menagerie of misfit toys. I found him just a few weeks ago in a small town flea market. He was lost in a sea of old baby dolls. The photo below shows Donny at the moment I found him. He was cheap. Fifty cents cheap!



Dragon Force Donny is a little bit Rock 'n' Roll and little bit sweep the leg! He's now trying to teach his fellow misfits how to sing 1970s bubblegum pop and the five-point-palm exploding heart technique.

 Hai-Karate!!!!

Check back tomorrow and meet Misfit Toy #3!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

MISFIT TOYS: THE NAKED ELF



Misfit Toy Stats 
Name - The Naked Elf
Type of Misfit - Unwanted and incomplete
Age - Sixty to seventy years old
Origin - Manufactured 
Height - 10 1/2" 
Demeanor - Mischievous

Meet our first misfit toy, The Naked Elf. I rescued this misfit toy from an antique mall during the holiday season of last year. When I spotted N.E. on the bottom shelf of a booth filled with collectibles and questionable antiques, he looked kinda down on his luck. The poor elf was half buried in happy meal toys and Beanie Babies. For some reason his black as coal glass eyes caught my attention when I was scanning the booth and I picked him up. I had never seen an elf doll quite like him before. He was much older than anything in the booth and his price tag was marked at eight bucks. Even though the price was right, N.E. was one dirty elf and was naked as a frozen jaybird on the North Pole. I decided I didn't want to spend my money on an incomplete toy. After striking out in the rest of the antique mall I didn't want to leave empty handed and decided to add The Naked Elf to my small collection of misfit toys. Now he's The Naked Elf on the shelf!


I took him home and cleaned him up the best I could. Some of the dirt has stained his composition face, but that just ads to his character. I think he's kinda like Pigpen from the Peanuts...only naked.


He's very flexible and likes to do cartwheels during his morning workouts. The other misfit toys try to look the other way when he does this. No one wants to see a naked elf doing calisthenics.


He has the reputation of being a little imp. He's a bit on the mischievous side and sometimes we have to keep him from sliding down the banister.

Check back tomorrow when we meet Misfit Toy #2!

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS STARTS TODAY


Welcome to Neato Coolville's annual 12 Days of Christmas....Misfit Toys edition! Ho ho ho! Yep, you read that right. We will be counting down to Christmas with a different misfit toy each day. 


This merry group of twelve misfit toys were rescued from flea markets, department stores and a kid from junior high. Each toy has been given a name and you'll learn what makes each one a misfit. Check back this afternoon to meet the first toy. Merry 12 Days of Christmas!

(Also, be sure to check out the Neato Coolville Facebook page for a holiday hodgepodge of Christmas goodies including Christmas catalog highlights from the 1970s and 80s.)